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Archive for February, 2011

choosing slient

in my tiny
little book
of
truth.
which i often
misplace.
or forget
i ever
found.
is a wee little page
with some swirls
and sparkles.
when i seek it-
when i think to look-
when i forget to think
and i feel
my way.
through
those tough rough
argh gar
ruckity rickity
sticky guck
moments.
minutes.
months.

there in the swirls,
in the mini sparkles,
on the wee little page
of my tiny
book of truth,
i am reminded
to just be silent.
to say,
please excuse me,
and walk away.

in those moments when
i want to
rage
holler
scream
stomp
shout
at these two
small people
huge souls
in my care.

in those minutes when
i can’t see but for black
with this strange light around the edges.

when all the parts of me
are clamoring to
be heard
about their own
personal
injustice.
exploding with self righteousness.

the book of
small truths
reminds me.

just walk away.
hold onto all the words
for a breath or two.
sometimes words are just
not
truth.

and the truth is on those
worn thin
swirly pages
of your
silent
heart.

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february is

while the members of my little family have rotated through varying degrees of sniffles, sneezing, coughing, sleeping, waking, aching and such there has been little else to do but get by.

in all the hours spent snuggling little ones on the couch i did manage to get some knitting done. i am addicted to these elf hats (from more last minute knitted gifts):

a set for friends


one for my pea


one for beanie

and last night i had a few fun moments of garden dreaming….

plotting my dream garden for 2011

i hope we are turning a corner into better health here and soon life will have more flow and less coughing on the couch. meanwhile i need my webs order to arrive so i can start the next knitting project….

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new math

bronchitis + head cold + croup x 2 = crapola

the math of parenthood and long nights of listening to your kid and then kids in respiratory distress.

she still manages to find time for a few smiles:

i find time for trips and phone calls to the doctor and a few coffee’s.

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tiptoe

can you
perhaps
tiptoe your way
out of a slight funk
the tiniest funkiest little wee funk
can you sneak out
can you will
will your way
towards lightness
can you find the small
quiet
all knowing
voice
the one in the center of your heart
the one the can tell you
yes
the one can whisper the secret
the secret recipe
the recipe of tiptoes
the tiptoe path
the path back out
of the tiniest
little
funkiest
wee
funk.

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{this moment}ing

joining the tribe inspired by soulemama again this week.

after finishing yoga she knit me a scarf

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got the power

last night before i even went to sleep myself i knew it was going to be a long sleepless night.  the bean was coughing a lot and who can sleep through that?  i sat jotting notes in my journal for a moment before turning out my light and i stumbled across an idea.  even though i was not going to be well rested, even though there was going to be the possibility of feeling sorry for myself, i wanted to chose to enjoy the next day.  i wanted to -instead of wishing for some kind of special attention from others – dedicate special appreciation to my daily life.  i thought, who better to just love my life with than the two petite beings who love me unconditionally?

it was early when the night of “sleep” ended for us around here.

i haven’t been smiling all day.

but i do sense that i have the power to pull this off.  i have the power to chose enJOYment.  i have the power to be unconditionally happy.  i have the power to immerse myself in the pleasure of loving my children.  i have the power to celebrate my life by playing with the two little beings whose lives started within me.

it is heady stuff this kind of power.  the power of plenty.  the power of joy.  the power of freedom to chose.  the power to simply decide to take small steps into happiness and leave the rest of the emotional clutter behind.

 

 

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energizer

it just keeps snowing

and snowing

and snowing.

inside the house we are baking bread.

taking remedies.

and some of us are keeping our ears constantly pricked (all day and all night) trying to determine is he better?  is he worse?  what next?

meanwhile the snow comes down around us and i am reminded that mother nature is powerful, awe inspiring really.  and the neighborhood birds are devouring the seed we put in the feeder on sunday at a rate like i have never seen before.  and i am thinking about things like, how much weight can our roof take?  and ice dams?

snow snow more snow.

did you know i was born during the blizzard of ’78.

maybe this storm here is my cosmic birthday present.*

 

*it is not my birthday.  not yet…

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