sustainable babyish organic bamboo velour flat + peanut butter and ellie front pocket longies (old and well worn by her older brother!) = awesome cloth diaper fluff
foot = cuteness alert + mama love
i really did not want to go to the gym today. despite my efforts at healing myself and my taking my vitamins and some special immune support extra’s i am still contending with my rash. it has been awhile since i first got it and i am feeling a little frustrated with the situation. on top of just wishing i was less itchy i have this thing about how terrible it looks. so, i really did not want to don exercise clothing and go show my big ol’ ugly red rash to the world. but flash insisted that working out would be good for me and if i wore a regular t-shirt it wasn’t too noticeable.
so i sucked up my insecurity, got dressed, and went to my favorite saturday class. i approached the instructor at the start of class and explained that i was not contagious, and that if i left it was just because i was hot and itchy and i took my place.
like magic i left the class feeling like an entirely different person. i came home and declared flash a genius. then i spent a few minutes outside with the pea before her nap. she is awfully cute these days, and silly, and stubborn, and all things sixteen months. sometimes i am at my wits end with her screaming and carrying on and other times i want to literally eat her alive i love her so much. isn’t parenting funny like that? i grabbed my camera and captured some of her fun.
sometimes a dinner date with your girl friend is just the ticket.
even when you are just a wee little girl.
i seem to always forget my commitment to giving gratitude on mondays but i really don’t want to just let it go so instead i am going to try to be fluid. you know, monday, tuesday – whatever!
1. i am grateful for a few warm sunny afternoons this late into the new england fall.
2. i am grateful for all the helpers in the world. and most especially for the ones who have been helping my family recently.
3. i am grateful that the fourteen year old girl who lives next year wants to try some hours over here helping me out.
4. i am grateful to flash for supporting my desire to get to the gym on saturday and sunday while he plays with bean and pea.
5. i am happy with the two mugs i got for us on monday morning, on a whim, that ended up being very much on sale even though they were not marked as such. they are very enjoyable to drink from.
6. i am so grateful to the teachers at the bean’s preschool who were patient with me when i originally backed him out of his full day toddler spot over a year ago. supported my desire to start him in the preschool as a half day student in march. and have shown the dedication and skill to bring this very shy little boy out of his shell to the point where he is happy and comfortable at school. i never could have imagined it!
7. i am grateful to my mom for all the time she spends watching the kiddo’s. and i am starting my serious freak out about her leaving for five and half months. ok, wait, this is a grateful list.
8. i am grateful for coffee.
9. and toblerone. the dark chocolate with nougat kind.
10. i am grateful that i got the support i needed to successfully establish a positive nursing relationship with both of my kiddos. and grateful that i have found the support and personal conviction to allow them to self wean…or not yet wean as the case may be.
i made a hat for her:
he likes to make faces:
i don’t write about babywearing much but i don’t write about breathing much either and i am doing them both pretty much all the time. today we walked to the center of town for a little festival that is going on there and chickpea rode there and back on my back, and she slept for the ride home. if you look in the back of my car you’ll probably find a soft structured carrier, a woven wrap, and my reusable grocery bags. you usually won’t find a stroller. and it is not because i have any problem with strollers or anything. but, the bean sure did, he hated them, and it is like he trained my brain. i just don’t ever grab for a stroller. i grab for a piece of fabric that will hold my baby up snug to my body. where i can feel her breathing and she is pulling at my clothes and we are both seeing the same things.
it is not that i take issue with other people doing it any other way. i own two lovely strollers. and you can find them, gathering dust, in my garage. i am just a baby wearer. i am. i wear my baby. and god bless the loving universe for that one day when i was pregnant with the bean and my google search led me to some didymos retailer who helped me chose my first wrap. i had NO idea what i was doing. what a wrap was. maybe i should be blessing the horse that fractured my vertebrae when i was nineteen because it was that old injury that had me thinking i better find something easy on my back.
i remember bringing the bean home from the hospital and opening up the didymos instruction booklet and trying to figure out what the heck to do with the ten million miles of fabric. i taught myself two carries in those first weeks and once i was capable of tying him on my body without breaking into a sweaty freakout i was hooked. he loved it. i felt – i felt, safe. my baby was right there in my arms, my cloth arms. sometimes i felt like a little bit of a freak because the baby bjorn is really the only carrier you saw used occasionally in these parts back then. but mostly i just felt like i had found something that really worked for my little bean who thrived on mama’s touch.
we have come a long way from those first two carries and our beloved iris (i would love to share a picture with you but you know they are on my broken hard drive). the bean actually sat in a stroller today that flash pushed to town. but still, i am a baby wearer. and the pea was on my back for the walk there, the strolling around the fair, and the walk home.
and she is on me now. wrapped to my front snoozing away while i type. i am a baby wearer. this is my last baby. and you can bet that as long as she is happy with it i am going to savor it.
a piece of cloth, my child, and me.