this moment in time feels so familiar to me. i have idea’s and plans and so much to do and instead of moving into the work i am on the couch in my pajama’s and i haven’t washed my face in days. ok, not entirely true, today i washed my face and brushed my teeth and got dressed by 8 am but i did have an appointment. in general, this week i have been gray and a little sullen and in that zone of too much to do and doing nothing. i want to be doing but instead i am not and the longer i am not doing the more i feel behind in my doing the more overwhelmed i am and the more stuck i get. hello my good friend rabbit. so nice to see you again. here we are, frozen in our fear together.
what do i want and need to be doing:
work for my class (reading and papers)
laundry (we got behind while i was in class)
creating rhythm and activity in my days at home with the kids (for bean especially)
reading to get ideas on how to start the rhythm/activity stuff
making a plan of what the days could look like
implementing the plan
going through the toys (again) and getting rid of the plastic stuff i hate hate hate (some can stay but not the triple hate stuff)
organizing my desk area (ikea would really help if we could swing the funds)
writing about non-attachement on this blog
SHREDDING (for the love of all things holy i know i’d feel better if i got back to it but i am so tired i don’t and so on and so on)
geting my eye brows waxed (this is shallow but pleasing)
getting my hair cut (see above)
shipping books out to green mamma
shipping out sold dipes
learning to knit well enough to make things
learning to sew too
being generally amazingly crafty like soulemama
adopting a dog into our family
getting involved in the local food pantry
painting the bedrooms
making the kids rooms nicer to be in
finishing the second front garden
canning some things (learning to can) for the winter
learning to make my own cheese!
having more fun parenting
going on a nice date with flash
sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping some more.
oh yes, a little sleep might go a long way. with flash away the timing for the pea’s recent sleep strike isn’t great. she is keeping me up most of the night and there is no one to take her when she is up for the day so i get a little break. she is nursing a ton, biting, tossing and turning and whining. i am guessing maybe a tooth is coming but from 1 am until i give up hope at 5:45 i am not really as compassionate as i could be. i am tired! right now i am drinking coffee (albeit half caf) in the afternoon which is basically me asking to be up until 1 am which is around the time she stops sleeping so i am caught in a cycle here. and, isn’t it funny that i want more babies!
so how are all of you on this long gray week? anyone else want to share their to do list? or their sleep deprivation stories? or a late afternoon mini half caf?
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