sometimes when i am at the gym i look around and see other women who are much more muscular, stronger, in better shape then i am. i immediately think, oh wow look at her. i need to work out more often.
i wonder why my instant reaction is to rank myself lower and assume i need to change. i wonder if there comes a time – through all this spiritual and inner work that i commit myself to doing – when those critiques are silenced and i can just appreciate each person (even myself) as they are.
on the fifth we took a hike at noon hill because it was not desperately cold. i was just going to loop the pond there but sebastian wanted us to veer off up a hill. i agreed. it was a beautiful path. at the top of the hill we looked back through the pines at the frozen pond.
a few minutes later we were walking through an archway of small pines that had grown thick leaning over each other to form a kind of greenery tunnel. we saw a giant fallen tree and decided to bushwhack over to it and walk it like a balance beam. it was one of those days where things just kind of fall together and you get this feeling inside vibrating around like a huge yes.