today in meditation i asked to, what do i need to be right now?
flash was gone for thirteen days and now he is home.
the kids are bouncing off the walls happy.
and it is so nice to be a family of four again.
there is also the transition though.
sometimes i remember there will be a transition when he departs
but forget there is another one when he returns.
so i asked to be what i need to be
for my kids
to be what i need to be to help us through these few little days of shifting again.
i saw myself as a shining beacon
bursting with light from above and below.
i saw myself standing strong and holding the space for us
i saw that the strength was soft and yeilding
i saw that our family is filled with love
and sometimes all that love need huge bursts of light
i saw how my tendency when he first gets back is to disappear a little bit
to assume the kids need me less
to go on a kind of energetic break.
but that really that is not what any of us need me to do.
(not even me!)
that a healthy function would be bringing the light
holding my spot in this family
being brightly present.
the other day we went for a walk in the forest.
covered by a blanket of snow.
with castle james.
i let him off leash and hoped he’d stay close.
we stomped through the snow a bit.
we climbed up slight hills suddenly imposing
when you are tiny
and dressed in so much gear.
we padded in
we stomped out
we slid around.
it wasn’t a long hike.
it wasn’t exercise for me.
but it totally changed my day.
being surrounded by mother earth
held by nature
and her amazing depth and breadth.
she doesn’t go on break.
she shines with strength from above and below.
her power is soft and yielding.
she is bursting with light.
she holds us all.