it is what children do.
they do what they see us do.
slings gifted by victory.
photo taken last week when everyone still had raw noses!
eva has been the designated sick wrap this week and she has gotten a lot of use and abuse. god bless her for taking it all with her calm, pastel, ease. she has held my child to my body for long day time naps while i eat chili and drip on her. her tails have been near by for quick emergency nose wipes. she has confidently embraced my pea riding on my back while i try to straighten up the house, open a few windows, or do some dishes. she has not once complained that i absently wipe my wet hands on her when the dishes are done. she lay herself flat over the dining room table to become a part of the obstacle course i built for the bean to play through yesterday while pea nursed and nursed and nursed and cried and coughed and nursed.
eva is a cheery workhorse of a wrap. a didymos stripes. a thick supportive weave. nothing delicate or limited edition about her. she is the pink cousin of my first ever wrap, the wrap that started a love affair, my iris. these didy stripes are worth their weight in gold. they wrap well, wear long with no sag, support the weight of my 18 month old with no sign of strain, and they are not finicky or egoistic. this wrap is quite content to be used hard, spilled on, to wipe snotty noses and dishwater hands. she revels in her role as a part of the family. she is honored to be invited into our healing process. she is the perfect homemaker. i think, if i could spare her for a few minutes she might even sweep the kitchen floors for me.
this week has stretched me. i have been tired and tireder. i have been worried that pea is so ill and irritated that she needs so much of me all the time. i have felt guilty that bean has taken second so often. i have been frustrated with myself as my fuse gets short with them.
in my lowest moments i swear to you i have turned to eva and sought her help. she is always right there waiting to make it simple. she is ready to pitch in and help. just seeing her i have ideas of how to meet everyone’s needs without going crazy.
it has been so long since i had a newborn to wear around all day every day. i had almost forgotten how much a didymos can change your life. (or any wrap like piece of cloth really. i just have found the didymos to be a worth while investment for us.) but today, i take a moment to speak out what i have remembered. the wrap heals all. the wrap, tent, blanket, tissue, towel, baby carrier, streak of bright color, lovey. she has been my helpmeet these days. i wanted to take a moment to thank her. for her utilitarianism and for the shift of perspective she brings me.
bless you eva.
thank you for letting me drip chili on you once again today…
can’t help but share her.
yesterday she wore some cloth diapering fluff that she finally grew big enough to fit into.
today we finally got to meet wotw’s darling baby boy. i of course finagled a way to have him wrapped onto me within an hour of their arrival. pea struggled a little with her jealousy but she recovered nicely.
black cherry pfau is still my favorite wrap ever ever ever ever. wotw has a wonderful, sweet, snuggly little munchkin who i never wanted to take off. what is nicer than a tiny baby wrapped on in a didy? nothin’.
come back any day wotw 🙂
enjoy your people today.
love – woowoo mama
p.s. can you believe how fast they grow up? a second ago pea was the tiny baby in the wrap and bean was the toddler on my hip…
i don’t write about babywearing much but i don’t write about breathing much either and i am doing them both pretty much all the time. today we walked to the center of town for a little festival that is going on there and chickpea rode there and back on my back, and she slept for the ride home. if you look in the back of my car you’ll probably find a soft structured carrier, a woven wrap, and my reusable grocery bags. you usually won’t find a stroller. and it is not because i have any problem with strollers or anything. but, the bean sure did, he hated them, and it is like he trained my brain. i just don’t ever grab for a stroller. i grab for a piece of fabric that will hold my baby up snug to my body. where i can feel her breathing and she is pulling at my clothes and we are both seeing the same things.
it is not that i take issue with other people doing it any other way. i own two lovely strollers. and you can find them, gathering dust, in my garage. i am just a baby wearer. i am. i wear my baby. and god bless the loving universe for that one day when i was pregnant with the bean and my google search led me to some didymos retailer who helped me chose my first wrap. i had NO idea what i was doing. what a wrap was. maybe i should be blessing the horse that fractured my vertebrae when i was nineteen because it was that old injury that had me thinking i better find something easy on my back.
i remember bringing the bean home from the hospital and opening up the didymos instruction booklet and trying to figure out what the heck to do with the ten million miles of fabric. i taught myself two carries in those first weeks and once i was capable of tying him on my body without breaking into a sweaty freakout i was hooked. he loved it. i felt – i felt, safe. my baby was right there in my arms, my cloth arms. sometimes i felt like a little bit of a freak because the baby bjorn is really the only carrier you saw used occasionally in these parts back then. but mostly i just felt like i had found something that really worked for my little bean who thrived on mama’s touch.
we have come a long way from those first two carries and our beloved iris (i would love to share a picture with you but you know they are on my broken hard drive). the bean actually sat in a stroller today that flash pushed to town. but still, i am a baby wearer. and the pea was on my back for the walk there, the strolling around the fair, and the walk home.
and she is on me now. wrapped to my front snoozing away while i type. i am a baby wearer. this is my last baby. and you can bet that as long as she is happy with it i am going to savor it.
a piece of cloth, my child, and me.
steph over at adventures in babywearing is hosting a really awesome contest…the sakura bloom triathlon. i had to enter cause i think the pea and i could totally rock the sakura slings — but even if we are not chosen i have to give mad props to steph for hosting a really sweet contest.
i was thinking i’d be all cool and grab her button and put it up here but guess what…i have no idea how. and i call myself a blogger!
actually, truth be told, i was thinking about that this morning. do i think or myself as a blogger? as a writer? this is kind of a part of an existential crisis type line of questioning but it is interesting to think about. i have been spending some time (read playdates) with a mom whose daughter goes to preschool with the bean lately so she is sort of a new friend. and i was sitting there thinking – am i a blogger? do i tell someone i meet, “oh yes, i am a blogger.” as in, when i am getting to know this new friend is my blogging a part of what i share as who i am and what i do?
honestly, it is not something i’d ever do. which begs the question “why not?!”
i better answer that tomorrow when there is potential for a better mood. today is one of those days. best to just shout out one more time…
steph is hosting a really cool sakura bloom triathlon contest! and call it a day.
it is monday and i have not worn chickpea and bounced her for her nap since thursday. since she was born i have put her on my front in a wrap and bounced her gently on my birthing ball for at least a part of one nap each day. as she has gotten older she sleeps longer in her crib, she naps only once a day, i wear her like this less. and at the same time she has come to show me how much she loves it more. now, when she wakes up but is really not ready to be done with her nap and she sees me walk into her room holding a wrap she reaches out her arms for me. when i pick her up and slide her into the first front wrap she sighs, snuggles her head into my body, and wraps her arms around me. i keep wondering if she will grow up and start to refuse to sleep in her wrap, something the bean did more and more as he got older, but she seems the opposite. she seems like she wakes up in her crib and thinks, this nap would be much nicer on mama.
and when i scoop her up and wrap her tightly to me she is closing her eyes again almost before i have tied the knot. she is quietly sucking her pacifier which she really only does in these wrapped nap moments, she is not fighting me she is hugging me. she is soft, and sweet, and warm, and snuggly. she smell just like my baby girl.
today i picked her up and felt her lean into me and settle into her spot as i wrapped and i took a moment to hug her tight and kiss her soft baby hair and just appreciate this feeling. we all have those moments with each child that are pure and full of the grace of love. uninhibited, unconditional, unquestioned, love. this is the gift and today i say i thank you. and i wrap and i bounce with great joy my thirteen month old baby. baby. and i promise not to wonder how much longer i will do this for. instead, i will trust the process. eventually it won’t have been a few days since i last wore her for a nap but a few months and then a few years. i will never regret these sweet sleepy moments spent with her. not ever ever.
i have been online a lot less in the last few weeks. this means i have fallen behind in some of the things i enjoy online, reading certain blogs, seeking some sense of companionship and camaraderie from similar thinkers, writers, and parenters that i find here on the interwebs (i am loving making up my own words these days). even finding inspiration to get my buttsky in shapesky (again) as i restart the 30 day shred (again) inspired by all the shredheads (again) and it hurts (again).
i have been on the computer less as i tried to find the rhythm that would take me safely and happily through two weeks at home without flash, and with my two wonderful, lovely, amazing, exhausting children. i know that when i am home without flash i have the instinct to turn the computer on more, to have a sense of adult company. i also know that i tend to lose control of the house being neat enough for me to be happy, i get overwhelmed, i burn out around day six, and it all seems too hard. that is so not what i wanted to have happen when i was facing fourteen some odd days.
so instead of plugging in i unplugged. i tried sitting down in the morning with the kids to all eat breakfast together. i made a rule about television that i am happy with. i tried to leave myself more time for housework so that i could include the bean in the work and not be frustrated by the constant interruption of redirecting chickpea as she explores the house, the cupboards, the drawers, the shelves, the toy bins, the stairs, the door to outside, the toilet and so on and so on. i still come online each day for a bit. i try to write something because writing serves me well. but i have gotten behind in my reading, in my commenting on blogs i like, even in the whole stream of availableness that makes twitter enjoyable.
i do have a point here. though so far i am just going on and on. i think i mentioned the waldorf book i am reading heaven on earth (i have been warned it has some discipline suggestions i will not agree with but otherwise i am finding it to be a helpful and inspiring read). i also was gifted a copy of amanda soule’s book the creative family which i am loving. so as i have unplugged i have been doing more reading of ink on paper, which in some ways allows me to be a little slower, i find, i underline some things or make notes in the margins and then i turn out the light and drift off to sleep.
it has been nice slowing down, connecting with the kids, unpacking my bag at the end of each day and being sure to wash out all the snack containers and water bottles. taking the time to pack snack before we go out even (for all this i must thank my brother and sister in law – the lovely cakeissweet who are totally on top of this kind of stuff and who i learned from by watching while we visited with them this summer). i put away the dishes in the drying rack when i come down first thing in the morning while i am waiting for my water to boil for coffee. i make the beds. i do the dishes, every single one i can find, before i go up to sleep. seriously, this is not how i have been for the last year (or thirty one years) and i have no idea if it is something i can keep up and the list of things i want to fit into my day and life seems to only grow each day which is totally overwhelming and i am looking for a support group (anyone anyone) but life is good.
so, it was with much joy that i headed over to one of my favorite bloggers today and read about her day of gratitude she shared with her little one recently. i decided i wanted to take her invitation to list things i am grateful for here on my blog (though it sure has taken me a long time to get around to it). to limit myself from going on and on i will make a list of ten. ten things i am grateful for right now:
thank you green mamma for reminding me that although i am striving constantly to learn and grow it is imperative to balance that out with a gratitude for what i have and know. and now everyone who reads please join me in sending the lovely green mamma some “happy healthy beautiful perfect timing” birth vibes as she waits to meet her baby boy.
or rather, going back to searching the internet for a nice place to take sewing lessons. (or should i focus on canning? or knitting? or making my own cheese? or…)