i stayed up too late last night reading a book on knitting and then the pea decided to wake up a million and a half times to whine and nurseandnurseandnurse. this morning i was a little done with it. when she asked me about 3.68 seconds after we got out of bed for, “milkies side milkies milkies mama side milkies,” i got snippy and then flash asked me if i got up on the wrong side of the bed.
i am not about to give up on my nursing relationship and i am most of the time a-okay with it but there are moments when she is obsessed with the nursing and i just want a few minutes to make my coffee, or fold some laundry, or check my email, without a small person attached to my breast.
two hours later i had finally gotten us all dressed and ready and our bags packed so we could leave the house. (us all = me, pea, bean, castle james — although i don’t have to dress him.)
we drove to my parents house and that is where my day started to change. i took castle james and one of my parents dogs out for a run. i ran for 25 minutes through fields and along paths in the forest. honestly, a few months ago when i started this couch to 5k running plan i could barely jog the 60 seconds it started with. now, about two months later, i can run for 25 minutes. holy crap. (pardon me.)
i actually enjoy it now. especially the running with our dog part. oh, and the running in the woods part. oh, and the part where i feel proud of myself for getting this far.
after my run i asked my mom if she would mind watching the kids for a few more minutes so i could shower. and she said, “sure go ahead.”
if you are a stay at home parent with two young kids then maybe you know what a treat this is. a run and then a real true shower. not a baby wipe rubbed around your arm pits and neck while you simultaneously pee and try to find a pair of cleanish jeans to pull on. a shower.
it was only one hour later than the time i had finally left our house. it has only been two months since i set out to learn how to run. i have only been thinking about why i eat (and drink) for two days. but, the truth is change happens. i think it happens constantly. at times i am directing it and setting intentions and holding awareness and reveling in the change. other times i am sucked along for the ride. life is totally impermanent.
if that doesn’t make all the should’s reveal themselves as a hoax then i am not sure what does.
i might have to go looking for the lecture a brilliant dog gave me once on the fact that time and space do not exist. now there is some life changing information.
happy friday people.
happy discovering the spot you believe you are in right this moment.