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the waters

are the words

i am looking for.

first i sat in silence.

silence births space

for words.

then i ran free

and wild.

burning up gunk

daring up the courage

for words.

then i saw work.

digging to create

building the structure for my wor(k)ds.

and finally

i sink into the water









knowing in my

big heart

i am waiting for something huge.

knowing in my

big heart

i am not waiting.

nothing is huge.

everything is slowly shifting


up to the surface

of my life.

i am living.


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the path

right now lucky is in the trailer being driven home from his stay at the hospital. his mysterious fever cleared up and the swelling in his leg got less insane and they believe he has a soft tissue injury near his knee including his deep flexor tendon. he is in for a long road of rehab but right now he is on the road to my parents place in south carolina and this weekend he will be shipping back north with the rest of his mini herd.

i am so thankful, for the doctors at the hospital who helped get this injury under control, for all the people we know who sent their prayers and positive thoughts, for the bean who instructed me several times to “burn the thing by lucky again!” (smudge the alter we had made for him), and on and on. i am thankful that he is injured by ok and that he is coming home. thank you.

this morning the kids and i took castle james for a walk at one of the local reservations. (flash drove castle james home last weekend and at least two of us are thrilled to have him back!) we listened to the birds calling in the woods, we looked at places that were dry last summer and now have water running through them so deep we couldn’t cross, we wondered why some trees fall down. oh how i love this time in the woods with them. only made better by the company of a dog who manages race and leap with the grace of a deer through the spring forest.

after our walk we treated ourselves to lunch at our favorite bagel bakery. it is wednesday after all.

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inspired by soulemama and then taken a bit further.

11:55 on a thursday.

proof of time

earlier chickpea was looking for a book

kitchen counter-ness

mama's lunch

creative play

kitchen floor (good place for discarded fleece)

hall sun light

these photo’s are officially unedited.

this is the truth of our messy life at home.

this is the pile of shoes in my front hall which could be lined of nicely if i took five minutes to do it but most days i don’t.


*monster title courtesy of the bean and his love of monster trucks.  monster totally = big.

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over the last year or so i have strengthened the connection between my spirituality, my mental health, and my physical body.  sometimes this means understanding that pain in the body is leftover psychological pain and finding ways it ease it out.  other times it has meant discovering my ability to share my voice by literally strengthening my physical body.  it is a lovely and powerful journey i feel i am on and i am excited to finally be making the connections i have longed for for some odd years.


last night flash and i sat down and watched half of the documentary film food matters.  it was filled with eye opening information and surprising statistics and it inspired me to think even more about what i put into my body on a daily basis.  raw food?  vitamins?  organic vegetables?  we already do so much to be healthy.  we belong to meat and vegetable csa’s.  we get most of our dairy through a raw co-op.  i try to bake most of our bread and sweets from scratch with whole grains and less refined sweeteners.  but i still feel like there is always room for us to continue to find the correct path for our own physical health.


anyone else watched the movie and have any thoughts or comments?  hopefully we will finish our viewing tonight and i’ll slowly switch us to a 51% raw diet.  (flash will be thrilled.  teehee.)


ok hit up the comments and discuss!  vitamin c?  niacin?  what are you using succesfully for yourself or your family?


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another one inspired by la mama soule

*ready for roasting*

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*inspired by soulemama and all that jazz*

walking her dog

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guest recipe

“lemon cake”

in a large yellow mixing bowl combine:

the juice of one lemon

the remains of a sippy cup or water

a shake of mama’s stevia

three shakes out of the big sea salt

your sister’s leftover peas

a few shred’s of grated mozzarella

two leaves of too old lettuce ripped into bits

1 clove of garlic


stir well and refrigerate overnight.

at seven am remove from the fridge, don your apron, and add:

five – ten twists freshly ground pepper

a handful of strawberry tops

1/4 cup scoop almonds

1/4 cup scoop of cashews & pistacio’s

3 m&m’s

1/4 cup scoop brown rice flour

a sprinkle uncooked rice

a help from mama small pour of plain whole milk yogurt

a squirt chocolate sauce

1/4 cup tonic water

a small plastic container from the local deli of hots

a squirt of chocolate sauce

1/4 cup scoop of dried chamomile

a pint glass not quite full of water

a squirt of chocolate sauce

another dash of vinegar

stir well and place back in the fridge after assuring your onlookers that this is a water cake and the butter will be ready this evening.

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