sunshine, nature, snow, friends, sledding

another sleepless night with a baby who can’t breath well enough and spikes a two in the morning fever. i go between holding her in the bed, laying down with her, sitting back up, nursing, patting, taking jammies off, putting jammies on, falling asleep sitting up with my head in my hands in a daze of twenty minute chunks. eventually i give her to flash and sleep for two hours. then i get up to face the day.

irritated.
crabby.
tired.
short tempered.
pity party.

i forget to look out the window and notice the sun is shining down today, the day after a snow storm and my town is the most beautiful place in the world. i forget to thank flash for letting me sleep two solid hours and then making my coffee for me. i forget to smile at my children.

and then my friends call and tell me they are taking their kids sledding right down the road and would we like to come? is the pea well enough to join them?

i waver.
i wonder.
i worry about pushing her little ill body too hard.

bean’s face lights up. sledding?! (we have not been sledding this year and last year it was not his thing.) he so wants to go that i bundle us all up and out we go. i warn him ten million times that we might not be able to stay if it is too cold, too much, too scary, too exhausting, too too too for the pea. he nods yes. yes yes. lets go.

we arrive and the sun blinds me at first but when the blindness wears off it is like i stepped out of my cocoon of negativity and into a wondrous world. the same world. the real world. the one my bad mood was working so hard to ignore.

we take in the beauty. the snow. the sun. the trees and open fields and hills. we sled, all three of us at first gliding down the hill so fast my heart races. then the pea and i stay at the top of the hill and my beanie boy sleds and sleds and sleds. the smile on his face is a sight to behold. we are suddenly joyous.

i have said before that mother nature has all we need to know joy but i learn it and relearn it over and over again in my life.

being outdoors with her she reached out and touched us. we may still be fighting the virus in our bodies but our hearts were healed instantly.

sunshine.
nature.
snow.
friends.
sledding.

happiness.
joy.
love.
peace.
blessings.

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monday happy making

this morning i was driving early early but it was early early new time which isn’t quite as early old time.  it was cold out but not freezing still and the sun had come out bright.  suddenly, it was the most beautiful november morning in new england.  it started as i crossed the charles river at one of my favorite little spots where there is a million year old train tracks crossing a few yards away.  the mist was rising off the river and the sun was lighting up the yellow leaves on the trees as though they had their own internal wattage.  i wished i had my camera for a moment but then instead i thought why not just take it into my self instead.  beauty.

 

the rest of the drive i kept my eyes open on the present surrounding me and i just tried to stay focused on appreciating the beauty of the nature that surrounds me in the area i live in.  grounding in mother earth.  searching for the kind of joy that comes easily reflected off the inspiration of the natural world.

 

i hope you all find some happiness this monday.

 

 

 

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little things

sometimes the smallest shifts in energy make space for us to breath. to be. to feel a little bit alright. all right. part right.

today we took a short walk in the fields with my mom and her dogs. the bean held rhyson’s leash (the corgi) with such joy and care. they ran together – their little legs like the perfect fit. my heart welled and it took a deep breath.

we found a few small pinecones which we picked up and carried home with us.

i would like to have a nature table. i would like to get rid of more plastic and create a waldorf inspired play space. i would like to do more hand work and have zero tv.

more inspiring though. more to the point in this time is the idea of our rhythm being an in breath and an out breath. there is something i can be guided by. that is what we shall do.

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