i have held back on writing much about our possible homeschooling on this blog. partly because we are undecided and i just wasn’t sure i was ready to defend something i am not even certain about. partly because i am pretty sure i want to try it for kindergarden and i yet i hesitant to find out how that will be received by friends and family. i don’t know, i guess there were a lot of reasons i held back and all of them were fear based.
yesterday i took the plunge and just threw it out there.
we are thinking about homeschooling.
amber commented because she is the number one best commenter in the universe. and then an old friend of mine from a million years ago left his comment on my facebook page. in it he said, “Send your children to school as learning how to cope with the ‘outside’ world and get along with others is essential…”
there is a lot of truth in that statement.
gosh it made me feel hurt and angry.
and shoved into a freak corner.
and labeled as overprotective and neurotic and stupid.
it made me feel so so many things.
surely more than warranted by a simple response to a post i put up sharing that we were considering the home schooling option and then asking “anyone else?” as the end — opening up a conversation really with that final question.
it is amazing all the buttons we carry around that can be pressed. amazing what the fearful parts of us can lead us to feel.
i sat down last night and wrote in my journal about how i was feeling, about how triggered i was by this old friends comment, and about why i truly did not need to be. i wrote my way through the hurt and angry voices on my management team and then i found another part of me waiting in the wings. a grown up, confident, strong, powerful woman. a woman who is not sent shuddering into the dark corners of the room by someone else’s opinion. a woman who is not stuck part way through life needing someone to cheer her the rest of the way up the mountain. no, this woman is doing just fine on her own path. she is actually happy, brave, proud and also she is a good mother.
and yes, she is blessed.
we might homeschool. i think if we do it will be because we truly believe it is the best fit for our family. a choice made from a position of love, strength, and belief in abundance. not a decision made based on fear or a feeling of not wanting to connect with the world.
i do invite your comments. and i promise to do my best to keep my own inner demons from responding to them. (sorry mike.)
walking in beauty,
r. aka woowoo mama