i am looking for the right way
through this moment
where i realize i am somewhere in between where i was
and where i dream of being.
it is okay here
we are all okay
but it isn’t who i most want to be or what i most want to be.
i don’t think it is.
even if i feel like it is what i am supposed to want.
even if there are ways in which i can enjoy it.
i am looking for the ways to be kind of myself,
to be ok with where we are at,
and to also not be afraid to make a stand.
to take a chance.
to do it now.
to stop waiting to know exactly everything just right.
i don’t know
it feels like a fog.
an okay fog.
a fine fog.
but not a dream.
i am going to step away from the computer and knit for a few minutes and see what the yarn has to tell me about how to get from a ball to a piece of cloth. how to weave my life into the vision. how to know the pattern i seek.
wishing you all a blessed weekend.
and light on your path.
p.s. kids started their half day programs at a local preschool this week. as the above may make clear – i am torn.