Archive for March, 2010

monday – chicken and veggie kabob’s grilled (these will be marinated in a yogurt sauce), rice, green salad.  the veggies we got for this:  fennel, peppers, mushrooms, zucchini, summer squash.

tuesday – quinoa salad based loosely on this recipe. i’ll have some extra veggies grilled up from monday that i will use, white beans instead of chickpeas and i think some dill or tarragon (or both) instead of the cilantro. that is just what i have here for other recipes. the original is really nice!

wednesday – angel hair pasta with white wine braised cabbage. (jane, who asked for the meal plan details already knows this recipe but if anyone else wants it i could type it up here – just ask!)

thursday – artichoke and couscous salad from this moosewood cookbook that my mom has down here. it is a really nice cookbook. i might have to add it to my collection at home…

friday – grilled chicken sausage with braised cabbage and rice.

that is the plan. hope it serves as some inspiration…


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aiken 3.21

yesterday at steeplechase:

today it is gray and rainy. i managed to fit in my first day of the couch to 5k running plan. i had to laugh at all the internal chatter that was going on while i did this very mild workout. so many times i needed to ask the voices to quiet down. i needed to seek acceptance for my body as it is right now. i had to breathe deeply and release tension in my muscles that was brought on by not quite true beliefs. i had to let the experience shift and change as i came in and out of balanced states.

hmmm, hard to tell from that if i did the walk/jog or sat for meditation. interesting.

we’ve come up with a delightful meal plan for this week and will be hitting the grocery store this afternoon. after the kidlets fall asleep flash and i plan to sneak out on a date – if we can find a restaurant open on sundays.

and that is aiken thus far.

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aiken 3.19

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on the road

phase one: at the airport waiting for our flight. other than the rather unhelpful man at the ticket counter (flash and i will be saying, “use the machine for that” to eachother for the rest of the day) things have gone well. *looking for wood to knock on*

until later my friends.
meanwhile a few iphone photos of travel with the woowoo family:

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house tour

the co-sleeping family’s bedrooms explained – from the mouth of an almost four year old:

this is my room where i sleep with chickpea and mama.

this is the room with chickpea’s crib.

this is the guest room where dada sleep’s sometimes.

this is mama and dada’s room where they sleep.

this is how the bean described the upstairs rooms in our home to my friend who has been here photographing us for a project she is doing for her degree.  it cracked me up.

in other news i am running around like mad doing laundry, hosting playdates, being photographed, and trying to get us packed so we make it onto the plane for another trip south tomorrow.  ye haw!  nothing like waiting until the last minute to get the whole family packed!

hope all is well in your world.

in my world i am buoyed by the most amazing spring like weather, iced coffee, watching the bean have the nicest playdate this morning with his buddy, sly slices of the marble loaf cake his buddy’s mom brought to the playdate, and knowing that i always stress way too much over packing and there is a washing machine there i can use.

happy wednesday people.

p.s. just to clarify, when i said i wasn’t nursing all day and night anymore the other day i didn’t mean i am not nursing anymore. just that a toddler nursing is not a newborn nursing.

p.p.s. the birds have totally found our bird feeder and it is awesome!

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i am trying to fill out the forms and get organized to complete my master’s degree finally — again.

each time i work on this process i struggle so much.  my friend aptly said it was like i trying to go upstream while dragging my anchor through the sand.  yep.

i wish i didn’t make it so hard on my self.  i wish i was less emotionally messed up about it.  i wish i could just fill out the forms and take the class and do it with some joy and pride and be done and feel grateful for the classes i took and the work i did and the degree i get.

the truth is that is not where i am at about it.  and even though i haven’t changed my crazy mixed up feelings  just talking through it a little bit and bringing more awareness to where i am at shifted things.  i didn’t have to Change to change.  i just had to see a little more clearly what pieces of the management team i am working with, thank them for their help, honor their concerns, ask them if they might be able to feel safe quieting down, and remember to like myself despite my vast archipelago of slightly insane self defense team members.

are you struggling with something these days?  are you dragging yourself upstream with your anchor down in the sands?  are you frustrated that you can’t just Change how you are or Change what is in your way and so you shut your eyes and continue slugging up your path just hoping that the way you are will work out in the end?

we all do it sometimes i think.  here i was this morning doing it myself and pretending not to know any better – actually i wasn’t pretending, i didn’t know any better.  i needed help.  i needed my friend to happen to answer the phone when i called with a specific question about the form i was working on and then to realize i needed a little more help than that and then say a few insightful things.

those insights opened my eyes just enough.  and then i remembered my totally amazing therapist who i haven’t seen in way too long telling me last fall that sometimes what i needed to do was sit with awareness of what wasn’t working.  just watch it – not force myself to find the right way to change Now.  through this practice i realized that just watching, just being aware, shifted the power and allowed the space for change.  maybe not Change, but change.  and sometimes that is enough for today.

sometimes you have to fight to change.  sometimes you don’t.  sometimes you just have to watch the resistance and allow yourself your own pace.

and with your own pace a good dose of peace, love and joy.

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blinked my eyes

when i was pregnant with the pea a friend of mine took photographs of me and the bean together.  i remember distinctly that he had these sneakers i adored and he was wearing them and i asked her to take a photo of them.  ok, how about we skip over analyzing that?

this weekend i stumbled upon those sneakers in the closet of our guest room.  it was fun to bump into them, i do still love them.  i had a moment remembering my growing up boy running around in them and i remembered the photo shoot.  then the practical side of me took over and she noticed that the sneakers looked like they might be the right size to fit the pea who is in need of shoes that are not weatherproof boots and do not smoosh her sweet sweet toes.

i brought them downstairs with me and tried them on her.  a perfect fit with room to grow.  i was excited.  i was happy and then in a rush i was sad.  sad and sad and sad.  where did my baby go?

i said it out loud a few times.  where did my baby go?  where is my baby?  who will be my baby now?

i love babies.

a third child is not in the cards for us and almost every day if you asked me i would tell you that i am ok with that.  i do feel complete in my family with two children and i love them and feel deeply blessed to have two beautiful, healthy, kids.

sometimes though i need a  moment to mourn the passing of this time in my life.  the time when i was the mama of babies.  the time when i had wee little things strapped to my back.  the time of nursing and nursing all day and all night.  the time of having someone who needed to be held always.

it is hard to say.  it is hard to find the words to say where my heart is on this one.  i just want to be able to respect the sadness that is mixed in there with the okayness.

my children seem to be racing towards five, or ten, or twenty, faster than i can keep up with.  i thought i still had a baby but instead i have a little girl who i am chasing around in her older brother’s favorite big boy sneakers.  i have kids.  i don’t have any babies.  i am not sure how it all happened so fast.  i must have mistakenly blinked my eyes…

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