the sun has been out here in my part of the world since saturday. it is amazing. lovely. beautiful. inspiring. uplifting. it is also throwing me off my rhythm a bit. we are able to be outside so much more than in the dark winter days. with all the time puddle stomping and worm house building i am getting less laundry folded and mail sorted. i am just off my game.
as the day creeps towards ending and the sun shifts in the sky, i seem to catch myself tensing up thinking about all i did not do. all the tasks i wanted to achieve and did not.
the truth of it is that i would be upset with myself if i was inside doing tasks instead of enjoying the sun as well. there is always a way to criticize yourself if that is your mind game.
instead of letting the anxiety sneak into my body and live in my neck and my jaw where it so loves to hold court i choose to let go.
i close my eyes and feel the bright sun lighting the darkness up through my eyelids. i take ten deep belly breaths. then i come fully into the present moment. i hear the sounds around me. the birds chirping and singing. the cars driving past in the distance. the neighbor raking his lawn. my children’s voices calling out to each other or saying, “mama mama!” i cannot help but let my face soften and a smile spread across it. when the only work is to enjoy the universe seems to serve me up a full platter of joy. when i can sit in the present moment suddenly my name called out by a child each passing minute feels like a favorite old shirt and not a nuisance.
i will still have the laundry to fold, the mail to sort, and the scramble of trying to get dinner made up before bath time. my world has not changed. but, my world has changed.
you know what i mean?