so, i have this viral rash thing. it is itchy and it is on my arms and torso mostly. i am not loving it. yesterday it was the end of the day and the kids were running on fumes and showing it. i was trying to eat a bite of the dinner i made and get them bathed and in jammies and asleep without any major breakdowns. i could tell the bean was close to the edge and i was so itchy. itchy itchy itchy. what i wanted to do was rip my shirt off and scratch my skin clear off my skeleton but instead i was trying to be calm and present with the children for bedtime.
i started to get pretty irritated and the pity party began. i don’t like being sick and i certainly am not enjoying a week and counting of this rash. i got to thinking, why can’t it just go away? humph, harumph, erg.
i was in the beans room and he was flopping in his bed and i was reminding him to hold still and go to sleep while i rocked and nursed the pea to sleep. sigh. humph.
suddenly my thoughts turned to a woman i don’t even know but who i kept reading about yesterday. a woman not much older than me with a husband and children who is laying in an icu right now fighting for her life after having a serious stroke. fighting for her life. and i am what, fighting off a little rash. in my home. with my children right there with me.
shift shift. i felt a whole new calm settle over me as i parented my kids to sleep. oh gosh, i felt down right grateful for my full full life – viral rash and all.
then, i got a little upset with myself that it takes another person’s major struggle to help me see how good i have it. cause, you know, i love to raise the bar on myself constantly.
but i am trying to let that go. just finding some peace in the midst of parenting two very young kids and an itchy to the nines viral rash is not too shabby.
so finally i got to the place where i could stop thinking about me and say another prayer for this woman i don’t know. may the loving universe heal her if she is to be healed and may her family be blessed with love and peace.