yesterday we were up at 5 am and i was not in the mood. i decided to roll over and pretend there were not two kids climbing on me and pulling at me. i decided to try to sleep through it and within a few minutes chickpea had tried to scale a pillow to reach something on the bedside table and she had crashed to the floor. bang. crying baby.
flash has been away on business for eight days now and in that time there has not been a lot of sleeping going on. some nights have been remarkably bad – like the night both kids were up puking. but other nights are just not good. my point? i am a little tired and honestly i am not at my most bestest parenting. i let my baby (my almost fifteen month old baby) fall out of the bed. she cried. i held her and looked in her eyes and apologized.
it was freezing cold and raining all morning and into the early afternoon. by the time it cleared we were in nap/quiet time and then there were snacks to be eaten and then the bean was caught up in an indoor game. then they were both starving so we decided to have an early dinner. and then, then, i thought – why not go outside? we bundled up and went for a walk down our long driveway to get the mail. while we were out there it started raining and the bean was yelling out to me, “run, run, hurry! it is raining! we have to run!” so we did. the wind kicked up and the drops came on faster and faster and we ran. i was holding chick pea and she was squirming like the dickens and bean was up ahead saying “you can’t catch me!”
i couldn’t help it. i started to enjoy myself. i smiled and then it slipped out – laughter. we ran, laughing and when we got to the porch i sat down. the bean looked at me incredulously, “we aren’t going inside?”
“i thought we’d sit and watch the rain for a bit.”
his smile was immense. i felt like i was waking up all over again and this time it was all good. the air was crisp and i was chilled and the rain was kerplunking around us and we were sitting on the step outside the front door – safe on our porch. safe from the rain and safe from whatever grumpiness had been living inside of me.
we stayed outside for awhile. we took turns running out into the rain to see if it was still falling. we drew with side walk chalk all over the porch. eventually i thought to get my camera and when i returned to the front door i found them there pounding to be let in. the cold had won out. i snapped a quick picture of their beautiful faces pressed against the glass and then they came in and we ran a hot bath.
we were done playing in the rain but the reset button had been hit for that day. i remembered that the simplest thing can be the key to an okay day as a full time parent. enjoying my children. finding a way to have fun no matter what the way is. letting them in.