it all began with an e-mail from flash announcing that he was going to take friday off and there was going to be a “mama’s day” which was to focus on the care and revitalization of mama. well, what can i say except “sounds good to me!” although what i actually responded with was, “is this for real?” once he confirmed that it was really happening i wasted no time calling a hair salon in a town nearby that we like visiting and scheduling myself for a long overdue hair cut. then i figured we could get a sandwich and call it a day.
at around 11:30 we were in full hectic mode trying to get out of the house with the kids, ourselves, our stuff, bags, snacks, drinks, coats, shoes, and our sanity. not twenty minutes later i was jumping out of the car one street away from the salon and waving goodbye to flash and the kids. and a few short minutes later i was in a swively chair in the hands of a man named jimmy. oh yes, jimmy, slightly diminutive in stature but wearing a hip t-shirt and assuring me he knew what i meant when i said, “edgey is better than soccer mom.”
jimmy strategically dropped words like “creative director” and “photoshoot” to make sure i relaxed, unlocked my jaw, and told him to do whatever struck his fancy with his scissors. what i love is going to the hair dresser with barely an idea of what i want, finding they are in the mood to play without too much direction, and leaving with a cut i like. so when jimmy was almost finished and he muttered quietly to himself “your nape looks so fantastic,” i felt a flush of contentment. who wouldn’t light up when her nape has been noticed, and taken care of, and described as fantastic? i couldn’t help but tell him, “all the mom’s at the park will surely be calling out to me, ‘oh woowoo, your nape is to die for!'”
jimmy is a perfectionist so my the hair cut took longer then i had expected but i can’t say i minded too much. spin me, clip me, trim me, buzz me – it is mama day. and in less than an hour, when i saw the reflection of chickpea’s pink flowered hat suddenly appear in the salon mirror i was elated. for me, a break can be forty five minutes. at the end of that i am so happy to see them, hear their little voices, see them smile when they find me in the chair. i am so happy it is a little crazy. i realize i have felt a little lonely without them.
i thanked jimmy profusely, “now i feel like a million bucks instead of a fiver,” paid for the pleasure, and we traipsed down the street to my favorite italian deli. as a rule i think a hair cut should be followed by a genoa salami and roasted red pepper sandwich on freshly baked bread with gobs of olive oil, garlic, basil, and fresh mozzarella. don’t you agree?
i keep wondering if i deserve mama day but i am trying my hardest not to. one thing i do firmly believe is that i am a good mama. i have researched and i have followed my heart and i have practiced attachment parenting which i think is the best kind for my kids. i have found reservoirs of patience for them and with them that i did not think i had. i do believe i am a good mama. and so, if recent events have stressed them out and the pea has been sick and the bean is stammering like crazy again i do still deserve mama day…right? don’t i? can’t i?
can’t i just stop wondering why and instead let go of all that and just remember the scissors, flying around my head like the summer dragonflies, landing here and there and flitting about. cutting away at the weight that has been resting all around my head. the weight of hair and of thoughts and reprimands. why not just let jimmy be a slightly short magician who makes my head lighter in a million different ways? why not just trust that flash loves me? trust that i am doing a good job. believe that i deserve a mama day. i am good enough.
my mama day is all about hair cuts and food. this morning flash made me my coffee, we ate at the italian deli, after that we got chocolate chip cookies at the bakery up the hill, now i am hoping the pea takes a good nap so we can go to our local restaurant where they know our names and what we like to order. i might have a beer from my favorite local brewery and a burger. or i might have chicken saltimboca with some white wine. or the six giant chicken and walnut ravioli with a glass of red. yes, mama woowoo likes her food. you are probably tired of reading about it.
so if you are reading, leave me a note — what does your “mama day” look like?